I'm losing myself... T.T

I've never felt so depressed and devastated till today..
I've put myself to my lowest ebb.. and myself had been fully destroyed!!
This is the hardest situation ive ever been into and suffering it..

I know is ALL my fault on not studying hard enough!!
Gah.. ive no idea what is happening to me!!!!
I feel like i'm totally not studying and is like i'm giving up my hopes.. T.T
Yea life sucks!!
Ahh i feel like killing myself!!

How? What? Why?...
Ive been asking myself..
Is it because i cant take all the subjects espeacially addmath!!
And why cant i show myself any improvements???

Is no use at all to cry over spilled milk now..
Is too late...
Is all my fault!! and no one else =.=

It is tough, everyone knows..
But how they get thru it but not me??
What is going on with me!!! T.T
Seriously!!! Ive never want to be in this condition...
But... i'm in it right now!!
The WORST nightmare ive ever had!!

Getting in almost the far most position in my class...
OMG!!! could this be any WORST!!
Even those monsters could beat me.. =.='
Ive never been care enough of my position all along but i couldnt stop thinking when i'm being put into the ..... GOSH!!! KILL ME ALREADY!!! T.T

Gah.. now how am i suppose to explain to my parents???
This is the hardest issue that i'm going thru...
They wouldnt believe their ears..
GAH!!! i cant stand this anymore...

Had been breaking down lately...What am i doing!!! crying over my STUPID mistakes???
Gosh thats why... T.T

See... time is passing by like thunder!!!
When am i going to get the time to brush up everything!!! =.=
I counldnt even score in those that i want to... !!!! urgh...
And making myself failing....
FAILURE!!!!

Now i'm thinking bout my future!!!
Ahh gosh... ive totally lost my mind on that..
What ppl said 'yea never give up'... have confidence!! WTH??
Maybe seriously i'm not following those sayings.. =.=

...............................?????
T.T
T.T
T.T.......

(needing a cheer up so badly.. and some counseling!!)
=.=

Hating myself!!
God save me!!!

-TeQueiro-